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Hey! We’re going on block leave!

Even America’s most trusted source of news about national security, military culture, and the world as it is and should be needs to recharge, re-fit, and remember why we left our hometowns in the first place. So, Duffel Blog is going on leave until Jan. 3, 2024.

Be ready, because when we come back, we’ll be cripplingly hung over and ready to punch up on behalf of the E4 Mafia, the Lieutenant’s Protective Association, and everyone out there fighting the good fight.

So until then, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, whichever makes you madder. See you in 2024!

—Duffel Blog Staff

The 12 Days of Extra Duty

By Ironic Major

FT. MOORE, Ga. — Duffelblog obtained the following excerpt from a leaked IG complaint which was authenticated by an anonymous representative of the E4 Mafia.

On the first day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me - an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the second day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Two smoke sessions and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the third day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the fourth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the fifth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the sixth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the seventh day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the eighth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Eight joes a drinking, Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the ninth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Nine counseling statements, Eight joes a drinking, Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the tenth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Ten veterans ranting, Nine counseling statements, Eight joes a drinking, Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the eleventh day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Eleven mountain climbers, Ten veterans ranting, Nine counseling statements, Eight joes a drinking, Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and an ass-chewing for all to see.

On the twelfth day of extra duty, my squad leader gave to me: Twelve packs of Motrin, Eleven mountain climbers, Ten veterans ranting, Nine counseling statements, Eight joes a drinking, Seven specialists shamming, Six room inspections, Five fingers of death, Four pointless tasks, Three police calls, Two smoke sessions, and he revoked my Christmas liberty.

Ironic Major is a writer for Duffel Blog. Aspiring mumble rapper. Notorious party crasher. Common sense aficionado. He also does balloon animals at parties.