Tuberville 'Visibly Erect' at Delaying Historic Nomination Of First Female CNO

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a true step forward for the U.S. Navy, the historic nomination of Adm. Lisa Franchetti as the first female Chief of Naval Operations (CNO) has taken the spotlight. However, not everyone seems to be celebrating for the same reason. Duffel Blog’s D.C. insider reports Senator Tommy Tuberville was spotted evidencing an unusual level of excitement about legislative matters during a recent Senate session when he discovered he had the power to delay this groundbreaking nomination.

Sources reported that during a closed-door Senate session, Sen. Tuberville was ‘fully erect’ upon realizing the procedural tools at his disposal to indefinitely delay the nomination. The source claimed that the senator leaned back in his chair, smirking, while muttering to himself, "This is going to be the highlight of my career.”

Sen. Tuberville's staff denied the allegations, stating that the Senator was merely reacting to some spilled coffee and that his rhythmic rubbing and glazed eyes had nothing to do with the CNO nomination.

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