"Nailed it!", says Intel officer who assessed Middle East violence as "possible".

TRAVIS AFB, Ca. – 1st Lt. Mike “Nostradamus” Creek is running a victory lap after having “basically predicted the war going on now” following a Hamas surprise attack on Israel that has killed hundreds of civilians and Israeli security forces. Multiple sources report that as recently as last week, the Lt. briefed the 60th Air Mobility Wing commander that the possibility of some form of violence in the Middle East was “possible.”

“It’s eerie,” said Capt. Tammy Wells, the Wing intel chief, and Creek’s supervisor. “How could he have known that there was a chance that something violent could happen there? I guess he has a gift.”

Creek joined the Wing’s intel section at the beginning of 2023 as an all-source analyst. Even though he was assigned the monotonous duty of maintaining the “Rest of World” slide, the junior officer had a sense “something was up” in the Middle East.

“Yeah, most everyone thinks it’s a quiet corner of the world,” said Creek, “But it was like I had a crystal ball. I just knew something might possibly happen in Israel, or Syria, or Egypt, or Jordan. Is Turkey in the Middle East? Because I had a feeling about that place too.”

Maj. Don Teller, the Wing Senior Intelligence Officer, echoed the Lt.’s self-praise. “Not only did [Creek] indicate on the slide that something might possibly happen, he emphasized it when the commander asked him if anything was happening in the world besides Ukraine. He stood right up and replied, “Definitely possibly.” I mean, I get chills just thinking of how he totally called it.”

However, not everyone in the intelligence community is impressed with the LT’s analytical acumen.

“Half of the map is labeled “possible violence or unrest,” said TSgt Blake O’Conner, the all-source section’s NCOIC.

“Every country in the Middle East has been marked as “possible” for a year. I’m pretty sure the Lt. doesn’t know how to update the slide, so he’s let it ride for months.”

“Also, he gave himself the ‘Nostradamus’ callsign,” said O’Conner. “‘Nostradumbass’ is more like it.”

At press time, Creek’s primary concern was whether the fragile violence would endure long enough for his next evaluation, or at least until the quarterly awards packages were due.

W.E. Linde (aka Major Crunch) writes a lot. Former military intelligence officer, amateur historian, and blogger/writer at DamperThree.com. Bravely writes made-up news and stories for the Interesting Times Harold (https://interestingtimesharold.substack.com/)