Millions of US military emails accidentally sent to .MILF addresses

FORT MEADE, Md. — A typo has resulted in millions of emails intended for the U.S. military being instead sent to aging porn stars with web addresses ending in .milf, an issue that Defense Information Systems Agency (DISA) officials say they've now taken steps to mitigate.

“At first I didn’t think anything of it,” said Jenna Jameson, the number one adult film star almost 30 years ago. “But then I noticed the emails contained more spelling errors than those from my usual fans. And a weird number of hand-drawn dick cartoons.”

“My God, does no one in the Military understand “Reply All” etiquette?” asked Julia Ann, between takes while filming Shaving Ryan’s Privates IV. “I must have written PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS DISTRO a thousand times only to somehow be added to even more email chains, most of which were people typing PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS DISTRO.”

DOD officials confirmed that the elder adult film stars were right to be alarmed.

“Since 2015, the Department of Defense has been aware that typographical errors could result in the misdirection of unclassified emails intended for a ‘.mil’ recipient to the ‘.milf’ domain," said Lt. Commander Tim Gorman, a DISA spokesman. “But frankly, we thought it was funny so we took no steps whatsoever to address the problem. Also, Asia Carerra emailed me back. Which is awesome.”

The DOD was forced to confront the issue after several geriatric sex workers fell for General Wang’s phishing emails offering assistance with their car warranties.

“First it was just Ginger Lynn sending brownies and thirty-year-old signed publicity shots to deployed guys, which was really kind of nice. But after Seka sent $300 to help a young man with an ‘important delivery’, we realized this could be elder abuse and decided we’d better step in,” said Gorman.

“These are the same women who gave our dads something to live for while fighting the Vietcong, they’re national treasures.”