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Department of Defense to reinstitute “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

97% of service members not wearing knee socks support the move

In a decision destined to draw sharp criticism, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin announced that the military would reinstitute the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ (DADT) policy. However, the new iteration of the policy, previously repealed on December 18, 2010, is not aimed at members of the LGBTQ+ community, but rather the growing population of service members who identify as CrossFitters.

“It’s about damn time,” said retired Major General Tammy S. Smith, the military’s first openly gay flag officer,” It’s bad enough that our regular service members have to be exposed to these people. Their agenda has become so pervasive, it’s in the barracks, the dining facility, and office spaces. Our service members shouldn’t have to listen to them go on about CrossFit this, and WOD that. It’s really just too much. I always felt like they were trying to ‘turn’ me. Frankly, it’s one of the reasons I retired.”

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