Air Force drops ‘Join Today, Get Laid Tomorrow’ recruiting slogan

JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, RANDOLPH, Tx. — Amidst growing recruiting challenges, Air Force recruiters have been told to stop using a controversial recruiting slogan, sources at Air Force Recruiting Service have confirmed.

The slogan, “Join Today, Get Laid Tomorrow,” proved successful at luring recruits to serve their country. But it also led to consternation among right-wing Christian groups who believe military members should not engage in pre- and extra-marital sex.

Derived from the phrase “Join Today, Get Paid Tomorrow” now seen on many business signs and billboards across the country, the slogan met with overwhelming success. “When we tested it in Las Vegas, all our recruiters reached their enlistment goals ahead of schedule,” said Master Sgt. Richard Head at the 69th Recruiting Squadron in Reno, NV.

“It was way better than our old slogan,” said First Lt. Tiffany Candy, a nurse recruiter assigned to a strip mall joint-service recruiting center in Colorado Springs, CO. “We say ‘Aim High’ around here and kids respond with ‘Colorado Rocky Mountain High.’ I don’t even know what ‘Aim High’ means, but I can explain ‘Get Laid’ in graphic detail.”

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